To Play or Not To Play

• Paula West
• October 24, 2022
• Newsletter Article

Call it making connections or relationship building, but at the core, it’s good old networking; It is the human connection that often occurs naturally between people. Networking is the magic that brings joy to our workdays and laughs in the lunchroom, it’s those relationships that help us grow professionally, advance in our careers, and celebrate our wins. They also teach us valuable lessons when we fail, lead us to new opportunities we did not know we wanted, and sometimes put us into uncomfortable situations that force us to take our biggest, bravest risks. These relationships within the professional world can be tricky to build, sometimes hard to maintain, but also turn into lifelong friendships.

Professional relationships have helped me change industries, helped me define goals, and guided me forward down my career path. These relationships have allowed me to transition into the role of mentor while still being a mentee. Without healthy working relationships, we risk feeling alone, unguided, and unengaged in our professional roles.

In many industries, outside-the-office activities, like golf, are times for networking. Why is networking so important? People want to work for or with people they like, it is natural to want this connection.

The unfair political game means it has nothing to do with your ability to perform your job. I say this because the people who attend the golf games typically hold higher roles on the organizational chart and are not interested in hanging in the lunchroom and getting to know you while eating a brown-bag lunch. As I said, it is not a fair process. It’s about them, not about you. It’s learning to “play the game” at a basic level.

Relationships with Coworkers

Making connections with the people you work with means more to your career than just making friends. It includes invitations to company outings, opens doors to collaborative project work, and, most importantly, reminds the leadership that you are a wonderful team member.

It is no secret that office politics is not fair. Our society puts policies and procedures in place to attempt to control the political game within companies but can still fail. The way to combat this is to build allies within the company.  This means working relationships with those who you can help, and those who can help you. It is a give-and-take relationship. You can do this by being open to conversation when in the lunchroom. This means no earbuds. Ask people about their weekend and make small talk with others. Allow them to get to know you a little more.

This also includes connecting with your coworkers on LinkedIn and exchanging personal emails or phone numbers. There will be times when a coworker is no longer with the company, and you may have missed a great connection for your future.

Get the invite

Attending the golf tournament, or any social function that involves networking, is important for all employees. Having the opportunity should not be based on your gender, your golfing skills, or your ability to tell a good joke. This is a work event, and all should have the same opportunity. However, here are some ways you can bait the fish.

• Purposefully join in the conversation.

• Drop some comments about your last game, the laughs you had at yourself when your foursome did poorly, or about how you want to golf more.

•  Keep some memorabilia at your desk. Display a personal interest or a photo of your favorite vacation/trip. This is a great icebreaker. Also, remember to ask others about their memorabilia items or photos on their desks.

Ask. I have had great success in just asking. Yes, it may feel awkward, but you will probably only have to endure it once. I have found that when people learn you like fun, they are happy to include you.Though golfing is a great catalyst for networking, any activity can provide these same opportunities for you to grow your professional circle, get your name and face out there, and keep you from missing out on the conversations that happen outside of the boardroom. Remember, when you are given the opportunity, you are still working. There is an outcome, and your employer will or should ask how it went, who you met, and if you learned anything. This is not an opportunity to hang out with the colleagues you already know, overindulge in alcohol, or enjoy the most expensive dinner on the menu. That is a quick way for you to lose the opportunity next time.

Volunteering

Volunteering is talked about repeatedly, but I cannot stress how much these activities can affect your career path (and help others too!). The experience alone is great, but the connections that you can make can be even greater. You do not have to make long-term commitments to get the benefits. Do some research. Find out what companies take part with which charities. Be mindful of the activities you participate in and what doors they can help open. Make sure you keep a list of the contacts you have met or connect with them on a mutually agreed-upon social media platform. LinkedIn is a commonly used tool for professional relationships, especially with people you have recently met.

If your time is limited, you must be strategic. Short-term involvement in strategic activities could mean participating in a one-day food drive or volunteering to work at a charity event. Setting yourself up for success involves research, pre-networking, and a prepared elevator pitch about yourself. It may sound unorthodox to approach volunteering in this way, but it is part of the networking game played for decades.

Long-term strategic involvement can include sitting on a committee for a charity or with a group that is in your field, or a field that you want to become involved in. Committees help increase your opportunities to meet like-minded professionals. Committees are great steppingstones to one day landing a seat on a Board of Directors. Longer involvement also increases the pool of contacts you have for future references.

I’m out there, now what ?

Great, you are at an event! People are there to do the same thing as you are, meet people. Agree to connect later with those you already know and attempt to meet new people. Here are a couple of tips that will keep you as a welcomed connection:

• Pay attention to your appearance. First impressions are everything. Remember, the game is not always fair, so manage the plays you can. Good hygiene, businesses appropriate clothing, and clean shoes are in your control, so do your best.

• Listen to people, ask about them and leave the hard selling out of it. Say their name. Ask about their roles, their company, and even their future career goals if the opportunity presents itself. Also, don’t clam up when asked a question. Conversations should flow back and forth.

• Remember when you leave a conversation ask for their permission to contact them. When they say yes, send a brief message using whatever platform works, social media or email, that includes where or how you met. In the future, when you go back through your message history, it will be there as a nice reminder for both parties.

Networking and making the effort to build professional relationships can be hard for some people. I challenge those people who are shy or do not love social situations to network and connect with their coworkers. Talk to them in the lunchroom. Small talk is a valuable tool to master. Those who are sitting alone in the lunchroom may have the same feelings of apprehension as you do. My advice is to just go for it, every day, set down the phone, and talk with someone. Remember, it is better to have ten strong mutually beneficial relationships over hundreds of soft connections on a social media platform.

For those who find it comfortable in a social setting, be sure to make a spot for those who need help grabbing a chair and starting the conversation. One day, you could look to them for support. AG